


Valentines

by saythxname



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Valentine's Day, a bit angsty, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24887776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saythxname/pseuds/saythxname
Summary: It wasn't as if Iwaizumi had never loved before. He did (once) and he tried (more than once). Failure after failure because none of it ever compared to the first time his heart ached for someone else; the first his heart broke for someone he couldn't reach.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 11





	Valentines

It wasn't as if Iwaizumi had never loved before. He did (once) and he tried (more than once). Failure after failure because none of it ever compared to the first time his heart ached for someone else; the first his heart broke for someone he couldn't reach.

He kept wondering what would've happened if he did something about it. Yet, it was too late now. He spent years with those feelings he thought were friendly and normal to feel as puberty went by, and he only realized they weren't when such innocent feelings turned into pain and scars.

It was during his second year of high school when he realized he was in way too deep to climb out and he was going to get himself hurt more than he ever thought he could. Lips touched and his heart sank, aching, as he felt his lungs running out of air.

“Oikawa,” he called out, trying to maintain a steady and composed tone. “Who's that?”

The other smiled brightly in return and so Iwaizumi fought to resist the urge to massage out the numbing pain in his chest. “Yuki,” his voice so soft and filled with nothing but kindness Iwaizumi wished he hadn't asked. “We're dating.”

“Since—,” he cleared his throat. “Uhm, since when?”

The words almost felt as if they were going to choke him. He felt wrong, out of place, like he wasn’t supposed to be asking these questions, and he just wished this was gone in the blink of an eye like waking up from a dream.

“Since earlier today, when she confessed to me during lunchtime.”

Oh, lunchtime... yeah, Iwaizumi had asked Oikawa to leave him alone that day so he could keep on studying for his exam in peace. So, at that moment, he felt like the unluckiest person to have ever step foot on earth; to get tortured like that for the next couple of months, knowing he could have prevented it, did not sound fair.

Thankfully, it only really lasted a couple of months. Unfortunately, Yuki was only the first name of more to come.

Iwaizumi believed he could get used to it and the agony would cease, or his heart would come to understand Oikawa wasn't the one, that his feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated, and so they would go away. You could say he did get used to it; he learned how to cope. The feelings were still there and so was the discomfort that lived inside of him all throughout high school, but it stopped affecting him as much as it did the first time, like suffering was a part of him now.

He did try moving on, seeing other people, dating girls. In the end, nothing quite felt right for him. He felt dirty and like he was using those girls, that wasn’t fair to them, but could you blame him? He really wanted to believe that maybe if he kept trying, he could at least focus on someone else that wasn't his best friend. He was lucky there was never any bad blood between him and the other girls, otherwise even Oikawa might have gotten worried.

Years passed, he graduated high school and left japan. He tried to remain in touch with Oikawa as much as he could bring himself to at first, but soon enough they both realized it wasn't working out. They fell out of a routine and their connection quickly disappeared, much more quickly than Iwaizumi would've hoped for. He never thought he would be living a future without the only person he shared all the rest of his life with.

As much as it made him sad, “happy birthday” and “merry christmas” were all he was left with from Oikawa. That didn't sit right with him, they had been friends since always, but he also couldn't bring himself to change it. He didn't want to allow himself to keep on holding onto to someone he couldn't have the way he longed for.

And he tried. He tried to move on so many times, many more times than he would’ve liked to. But none of them ever made him feel the way Oikawa did, especially when it just the two of them, no worries in mind, no girls in between them, just Oikawa and Iwaizumi, best friends since childhood. Some attempts lasted longer than others, some ended up becoming great friendships, some Iwaizumi just wished he could forget. And, yet, even after all of these new people, even if now he could go days without thinking about Oikawa, even if sometimes he felt light and freed and renewed, his heart would always beat different when it came to his long-term friend.

Iwaizumi was alone in his dorm room with almost all his lights out except for his laptop which dimly lighted up the room while playing some cheesy romcom Iwaizumi believed suited the occasion. His friends were all out enjoying the night, but this time he decided he would much rather munch on some popcorn by himself for the evening.

He was taken aback, interrupted by a sudden knock on his door. He checked his phone for the time: 12am. Iwaizumi couldn’t think of anyone that would show up unannounced to his room or wouldn’t at least scream at him to open up the door. He decided to keep watching the movie and wait for another knock to come, which it did.

Iwaizumi sighed, but proceeded to pause the movie and head to the door, nonetheless. You could say he was a bit irritated by the fact that he was interrupted during his peaceful, especially being so late at night. What was even the hurry? Couldn’t they contact him tomorrow? Monday? Send an e-mail? Either way, they did seem persistent enough to knock twice, so Iwaizumi might as well get over it and spare himself from actually getting annoyed.

He got stood by the door, holding the handle, and he was going to move to look through the peephole, but then he remembered his friend broke it last week when he decided to knock a bit too hard on the door. How did he manage that? Iwaizumi didn’t know, but it was yet to get fixed. He unlocked the door, opening it, ready to send away whoever was on the other side, expect that…

“Oikawa?”

“Hey, Iwa-chan.”

A soft, nervous smile rested on his lips, making Iwaizumi's heart flutter like it hadn't in a while, the same it used to when they were still both teenagers. The nickname so familiar in Oikawa’s voice, Iwaizumi didn’t even realize how much he enjoyed and missed being called that until now. (Not that he was ever going to admit it out loud.)

He gripped tighter around the door handle; his palms sweaty from the sudden outburst of old emotions he thought he’d buried deep inside him. There was so many questions running through Iwaizumi's mind, all of them fogged by the realization that Oikawa was truly in front of him. But, he had yet to know why.

“What are you doing here, Shittykawa? How did you know where to find me?”

Oikawa didn’t even seem bother in the slightest at the stupid nickname Iwaizumi used to refer to him even now, when they were both college students, adults, living on their own-‘mature’, you could say. In reality, Oikawa actually seemed happy hearing Iwaizumi calling him that. Maybe it was a sign of the everlasting intimacy of their friendship.

“Uhm, I asked Makki where you lived. I thought it would be nice to, you know, make a surprise.”

Oikawa seemed a bit nervous, he couldn't keep eye contact for longer than two seconds, his eyes moved everywhere, but his gaze mostly remained lowered. He moved his hands a fair bit while talking, almost over-gesturing.

“Oh...” was all Iwaizumi managed to utter. His hand loosened up from the handle, he could feel his cheeks warming up. It was weird to think that Oikawa actually went through such lengths just to see… him?

Oikawa seemed to notice Iwaizumi’s embarrassment and he took that as an ego boost, growing almost cocky. And Iwaizumi would have punched if this happened a couple years ago, but not now, not when he missed Oikawa so much he was scared of the possibility of this being a dream, or he was just hallucinating when he heard the other say:

“Happy valentine's day, Iwa-chan.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this around valentine's day in brazil that's why it seem out of season lol i first posted it as a threadfic on twitter but then decided to delete it and rewrite it so i could post it here 
> 
> hope you liked it :) 
> 
> i have more stuff posted on twitter (@rickcwstle) if you want to read some of my socmed!au's there. you can find them in the last reply to my pinned tweet!!


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